A Warm Reception
by Sebastian DeLaOsa
Summary: A humorous account of Revan and Bastila's wedding reception from Canderous' point of view. A Knights of the Old Republic story.


If Revan and Bastila were going to get married, they seem more like the type that would quietly elope when no one was looking. But let's assume for a moment that they did get married in a big, elaborate ceremony. What might it look like from Canderous' point of view?...

_A Warm Reception  
_Sebastian DeLaOsa

Revan and Bastila's wedding was a huge outdoor affair attended by dignitaries and diplomats from throughout the Republic. With so many high ranking individuals gathered in one place, protection was paramount and was provided by scores of soldiers and Jedi Knights. To amuse himself, Canderous had made himself the unofficial head of security. No one had argued with him, even though all the details had been arranged, everything was in order, they already had a head of security, and there was plainly nothing for him to do. It was his idea of fun, since cake and toasts and pats on the back simply wasn't his style. Spend an evening listening about the wonder and joy of eternal love? Or mindlessly roam around checkpoints over and over? It wasn't hard to decide which had more entertainment value.

"Security tight?" Canderous growled at an unsuspecting Jedi.

"Yes, sir," said the young knight.

"Really?" Canderous turned to the Jedi. "That sounds a little overconfident."

"Jedi can handle things."

"Oh? And how would Jedi handle things?"

"You'll want to give me that blaster," said the young knight, the Force behind his words.

"You're right," said Canderous thoughtfully. He took his Mandalorian heavy repeater out of its holster. The older man hefted it lightly and brought it up slowly. The knight smirked. In a smooth motion, Canderous leveled it between the Jedi's eyes. The young man froze. "Now," Canderous continued conversationally, "you aren't going to be able to do a thing before my finger twitches and splatters your brains across half this field, but that really wasn't bad." He tapped the muzzle on the knight's forehead. "Keep practicing, kid. If you get to be twice as good as Revan, maybe someday you'll be able to convince a Mandalorian to hand over his weapons without a fight." Canderous lowered his blaster. "In the meantime, stay alert and stick with the old fashioned ways."

"Uh…yes… yes, sir."

"Good boy." Canderous noticed Revan disengaging himself from his new wife and various guests. The groom had started to walk away from the main party with some determination. Canderous switched to business mode. "Let the watch commander know that _Lover Boy_ is on the move. Get a squad on us, but keep them at a discrete distance."

"Yes, sir!"

Canderous broke into a fast trot to catch up with Revan. "Where do you think you're going?" Canderous asked. Revan pointed to a large tree thirty meters ahead of them. HK-47 stood underneath it. Jolee sat beside the droid, smoking a cigar. The old Jedi blew out a ring of smoke. As he and Revan walked the remaining distance, Canderous glanced over his shoulder for the security detail. Behind them, about twenty meters back, stood a small crowd of six soldiers and two Jedi, all desperately trying to look invisible. They were a thermal detonator away from learning how to spread out. Canderous shook his head. He'd deal with it later.

"Hey, Jolee," said Revan, "Congratulations on rejoining the Order and promotion to Master."

"Hey, Revan," Jolee smiled, "Congratulations on joining the wedded and promotion to husband. Remember my advice, son. Being a Jedi, being a husband, the experience isn't too different – always someone telling you what to do. Enjoy the party and the cake, and, hey, at least _you_ got a girl." He winked and blew another smoke ring.

Canderous sniffed the air. "Mandalore's balls. Is that what I think it is?"

"Um-hmm"

"Do you have more?"

"Oh, yes."

"Would you share?"

Jolee took a slow, appreciative puff of the cigar. "What's the magic word?"

Canderous looked puzzled.

Revan nudged him. "Please," he offered.

Canderous looked at Revan, then at Jolee, "You have got to be…" then regarded the pleasant haze of sweet smoke surrounding the Jedi master. Canderous closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "Please."

"Ooooh, look at what we have here," Jolee said, reaching into a pocket, "why, it would appear to be the very finest Naboo tobacco available in the galaxy. Here you go."

"Thanks." Canderous opened the small sealed canister and sniffed the length of the black cylinder of leaves. "Mmmmm. I thought these weren't allowed out of system. How did you ever get them?"

"Used to be a smuggler, you know."

"Huh. I take back everything I ever thought about you." Canderous expertly snipped the end of the cigar off with a small field knife. "Fire?"

HK-47 looked up with keen interest, starting to raise his flame thrower.

Canderous stepped back, "No, I don't think so. Revan, hand me your lightsaber."

"Uh…"

"Oh, come on. I've had dozens of them pointed in my face in the past ten years. Not like I'm going to cut my head off."

"It's probably sacrilege, or something."

"Nah, go ahead, son," Jolee said, "it's how I lit mine."

Revan turned to Jolee incredulously. "You didn't."

"I did."

"Jolee!"

Canderous held up the cylinder of rolled leaves. "Revan, as you argue, the air is leeching all the flavor right out of this cigar."

"Um… alright, I guess." Revan switched on his saber, and gingerly handed it to Canderous. Canderous held the shining blade up and carefully poked the end of the cigar into it, taking long puffs. Once it was well lit, he handed Revan his saber back. "Thanks."

"No problem. Say, might I…"

"Don't even think about it," said Bastila. She grabbed Revan's arm, and looked sourly at Canderous and Jolee. "Men!" She twisted Revan's arm around and marched him back the rest of the wedding party. She started speaking at him non-stop. Revan turned back to his companions helplessly and shrugged before Bastila gave his arm a good tug that nearly removed it from its socket. He yelped and returned his undivided attention to what she was saying. As Revan and Bastila walked past the security detail, they fell into step behind the wedding couple like a set of lost kath puppies.

Canderous, Jolee and HK-47 watched them leave. Around a cloud of blue smoke, Canderous pronounced, "And so retreats the former Dark Lord, Darth Revan, Death of the Mandalore, Supreme Leader of the Sith, Ruler of the Empire, and Master of the Known Universe. All Hail Revan."

The three were silent, and the gloom deepened, save for the red glow of the tips of two cigars and twin orbs of HK-47's eyes. A quiet ensued, disturbed only by the crackling of burning leaves. After a few minutes, Jolee said brightly, "I've got Alderaanian brandy."

"Outstanding," replied Canderous. "Do I have to say 'please'?"

"Nooooo, no. It's only fun watching you screw up your face the first time." Jolee brought out two glasses he had snatched from the reception, and poured them over half full. He handed one to Canderous.

Canderous raised his glass. "A generous pour. I like that in a man."

"To the happy couple – may they have a long life together in the light side of the Force."

"To the happy couple – may Revan grow a pair."

Glasses clinked together. Canderous sipped carefully. "Mmmm. You've got good taste, old man. Pity the same can't be said for our leader. I'm quite fond of the Jedi Princess, but I'm not about to be led around by my anatomy."

"Query: Which bit of meatbag anatomy makes organics so compliant? The information could be useful."

Canderous looked at Jolee, a gleam in his eye. Jolee smiled. Canderous cleared his throat, "Well, HK, it's really quite simple. Jolee and I will explain to you in great detail, but don't mention where you learned it. You just be sure to tell Bastila _all_ about it, okay?"


End file.
